I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
so one time i was at the mall and then out of nowhere this guy put his arm around me and said hey but then i got really scared and so i screamed bYE AND WHILE I SPRINTED AWAY HE RAN AFTER ME AND YELLED WAIT COME BACK AND TO THIS DAY I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED
fuck that was me
You can’t escape followers, i’ve already glued the door shut
Nice try followers, but I replaced all the glass with rubber.
Too late followers, I’ve already cloooggged all the toooiiiiillleeeetttts
When someone randomly calls you cute and you just
every time I see this it gets reblogged
im at starbucks right now and some other person with a mac just put this word doc into my air drop????????????????
Did you say yes
tHEY JUST CALLED OUT A FRAPPUCINO FOR SWAG MONEY (thats the name of my computer on airdrop) IM GONNA CR Y
a modern love story